Chicageee day 1

Peelings, I try to share my peelings.

Today was my first full day in Chicago. Absolutely wonderful. I realize now after traveling on my own to three places that mood and intention are everything, and nothing puts you in a better mood then positive energy. The friend I am visiting here is that positive energy for me and so much more. It's not a whirlwind excitement that makes you feel out of place and out of your body, but a calming, soothing wonderful thing to which cherishing just comes naturally without even trying. Lately I find that i must try to cherish things in my life- my good health, the situation with the career/school, my body, safety of my loved ones, the stars in the sky. All of this by passes me for futile reasons and inevitably leave me to believe that I deserve nothing of this beautiful world. What were are given is meant to be met with gratitude, and I do not always give so much. Instead I sit and wish for more power, more courage, thicker skin, better skin (literally), a new place, finer "things." All of these feelings have gone away today. The worth of a true friend stands above a diamond, a Prada bag, a penthouse. It's amazing, walking around downtown today, I could feel the greed of people, myself included as we walked through the revolving doors and into the shimmery establishments. I marveled at the chandeliers in forever XXI, and smelled the fortune steaming out of a burberry jacket, a jacket I much coveted. But my heart was only at it's highest height roaming through whole foods with my best confidant, and sitting beside her, people-watching on a bench in Evanston. There's much yet to see, but there's no major desire to fulfill, which feels great- my expectations have already been met, and exceeded.

Tarp face

Sitting on the couch with mom who is napping. Overslept don't know how many hours, recovering from being a useless extra. Well, not totally useless. Clapping and reacting to high-paid actors from 11am-10pm- it's not back-breaking work, but is is work. The temp-title for the film is "Steel Town" (how ironic for me). Do not ask me about the story because I have absolutely no clue. The bare bones is: school is failing, kids are getting picked based on a lottery system, school almost gets shut down when dyslexic mother and school teacher duo save the day. There's a pretty hot Puerto rican in there somewhere. I almost sat next to him but my "best friend," who is a man, had the honor instead!! Shit happens. Ah but so many energetic bodies running around. One assistant looked so much like Richard Dreyfus I almost went up to him singing Someone to Watch Over Me.
Highly bummed my face may be in one shot and probably out of focus becasue for two days I tortured it with make-up. Now due to a benzoyl peroxide cream, Oxy, what used to be an oily but soft face now feels like TARP!!! Tarp I say! Ah, hope it subsides soon because tomorrow, going to Chicageee!!!! Won't be no Calamity Jane that's for sure. Oy. At least my lovely lady will be there, waiting for me and I can't wait to see the beautiful city!

sO indecisive

Peelings, I try to share my peelings.
I have these 2 blogs and of course I cannot remember why I initially made 2. There was probably some well thought-out reasoning behind it but...clearly it wasn't anything special since I find myself saying, "Ok, which do I blog on today? Now, after all these months of not blogging." But who gives a shit anyway no one reads this anyway. Ok. S0 every summer has a theme. This summer is the summer of awesome jobs.
Last weekend I worked with one of the coolest guy's on the planet- Jimmy Grashaw. An artist from Brooklyn, I had the honor of assisting Jimmy with his craft booth-creating 3d, huge, exciting cardboard fish for children to paint and display in Sunday's grad parade. :) It was a bomb time. At first I laughed when Jim told me about the sensual quality of cardboard. But, after playing around and getting more comfortable with the media, I could see why he enjoyed it so much. It just smelled wonderful too. Ah, and I met the sweeeeetest family from NJ. A trio of artists, Sandra Baquero fashion designer and her husband and little girl. I got the second privilege of looking after their daughter at our fish booth. Boy could this girl paint and she had a true knack for creating bright, wonderful colors for people to use on their fish. We made a fabulous octopus together as well. A lady octopus in fact with big red lips! The festival really helped bring me back down to Earth from, I have no idea...wherever it is I have been lately. The breakup and weeks prior have felt like a slow re-awakening. Sort of a daunting one as well. Breaking up is hard to do, as the song says. It has left me a little displaced and re-discovered at the same time. Mainly, I feel like I can work on me a little with is good. Just clear the air and hopefully get rid of all this stress acne. My face is horrid!! I can't describe. I'm fairly sure it is at a stage III level. Here is the new crazy regiment that I have implemented to hopefully clear it up. It's totally organic so it cannot hurt:
Face wash blend: Palm-glob of honey, cetaphil, tea tree oil (wash n rinse)
Astringent blend: Witchhazel & lemon juice (which I forget to do tonight! crap)
Cream: tea tree oil cream

Then, once a week: homeade face max: green clay, tea tree oil, oatmeal, lemon juice.

We shall see folks. I'd roll my eyes at the above too. But, I'm desperate.

Ah. Today while cleanin' the kitchen I was dancing around to Jimmy Mack radio on Pandora. I'm so happy to have met Jim. He re-introduced me to so many great songs from the 60s. When this really great song by Peter Paul & Mary came on, I said "Wow, what a lovely song." Then Jim went, "Yea Mary, she was a good friend of mine." Crazy right? Yep.

I feel so lucky to be here with my Phoebe. Well she isn't really MINE- I wish. My lovely neighbor, I am dogsitting for her. It feels criminal almost to get paid to spend time with this lovely lady of a dog :) A golden too. My favorite! Ok enough now. I am going to do some collaging, decoupage, mod podge w/e you call it. And then of course watch some of my Turkish series, 1001 night with Seherezad!!!!!! <33333

night!

harmony is dead....sorta

Peelings, I try to share my peelings.

note: 2AM CLUB is coool


hm so yea the community choir quasi stole the music clubs name "chatham community choir voices of harmony"
......balh.
and we are Harmony,the musical society of chatham

so something inspiring...doesn't have to be musical

Gliss (as in glissando) sliding between 2 notes

Slide Music Club

Listen

Sonic

Gala- gathering, celebratory

nocturne


Audi

limerance

symph

apollo- god of music

desire, expression, expressivo a serenade for the soul, expressando, nerve 8, Number Eight, EIGHT. Music is Magical like the
galaxy. Aquarius "let the sun shine in" Apogee

Celesta- instument, and heavenly body
accord- means harmony , agreement, mutual understanding

Achord Music Club

Sol-sun-central power

Sol Music Club

Lumendo
luminate

like a bitch.

I am not addicted whatsoever. But every now and then I need to shoot him up.
Deeper and deeper sinking in way past my skin and into my bloodstream where I thought I'd built a wall. Shaking I say "This isn't me. This usually isn't a problem I'm- a, I'm-a tend to be a level-headed person."
What in the world has happened? I'm crying in the mirror, everything was great just 10 minutes earlier. Never ever whatsoever will this hit be like the first. This one in a blue moon feeling makes a body feel cursed. The worst is over now, now that some hurt's fell to the floor. But till the next time I'll be sweeping pieces little by little out the door.
Rarer than Ant Flow, worse than a seasonal itch, I'm mostly pretty sane but when you hit it's like a bitch.

certain hours

Only certain hours of the day am I extremely verbal. When this mouth finally opens, a bit of proper speech mixed in with barks and howls, accentuating the most basic syllables, highlighting anything and everything, because I've been silent the entire day and these goes on for days and days. While these lips have been shut however my mind has been on high voltage. Sometimes I am convinced there are far too many synapses present and this would be terrific if only I were a city planner and could re-route a few things, and align some of the highways so that thoughts wouldn't get interrupted while others get carried away. It happens around eleven or midnight. The owl has chosen to be my power animal...but I don't know yet how fond I am of the idea. What's not to like really? They're the wise, patient, keepers of the night. But what about the day. The day is when most things get done. Busy as a bee, diligently I work,I work vigorously, it feels like erasing the hell out of a pencil scratching, just keep going at it. No different am I with play. Where there's time and will there is a way. I don't care with whom or what just so long as I am not alone, alone with my thoughts. I revere the owl, and at times, like right now, there is no one else, no cares to consider, just my thoughts and I and we are having light conversation without breaking things. But what of the day, when there is work and play and crazy's fool's words are muted and un-"hooted." Something should be done of the way she circles and smiles all the while she suffocates the inner wild.

Ratatat is cool- "17 years", take a listen to that song.
it explains this stupid blog post.

driving home.

Coming back from you
Is this the right side of the road?
You've taken me to a place
I must untangle the thoughts
But I caught every word in the back of my throat
Makes so much sense
How is it now that I don't know
which way to turn
How do I get back home?
Guess I'm overjoyed that you see me
In that-
Did the world just sway?
Clutching the wheel
This song too slow for my eyes
Someone sing me into focus
Help
Get this lost soul home alive.

Such a good time
What a time it is
To be with you
And just not be
For a moment wrapped up in me.
Just keep talking there
About the game and the dream
The things you plan to build
And the places you'll see
Of every little thing bringing you tears
Making you laugh
The voices in your head
The flavors on your tongue
I am right I am wrong
Not for now
For now I am nothing
And we are young.