Peelings, I try to share my peelings.
Today was my first full day in Chicago. Absolutely wonderful. I realize now after traveling on my own to three places that mood and intention are everything, and nothing puts you in a better mood then positive energy. The friend I am visiting here is that positive energy for me and so much more. It's not a whirlwind excitement that makes you feel out of place and out of your body, but a calming, soothing wonderful thing to which cherishing just comes naturally without even trying. Lately I find that i must try to cherish things in my life- my good health, the situation with the career/school, my body, safety of my loved ones, the stars in the sky. All of this by passes me for futile reasons and inevitably leave me to believe that I deserve nothing of this beautiful world. What were are given is meant to be met with gratitude, and I do not always give so much. Instead I sit and wish for more power, more courage, thicker skin, better skin (literally), a new place, finer "things." All of these feelings have gone away today. The worth of a true friend stands above a diamond, a Prada bag, a penthouse. It's amazing, walking around downtown today, I could feel the greed of people, myself included as we walked through the revolving doors and into the shimmery establishments. I marveled at the chandeliers in forever XXI, and smelled the fortune steaming out of a burberry jacket, a jacket I much coveted. But my heart was only at it's highest height roaming through whole foods with my best confidant, and sitting beside her, people-watching on a bench in Evanston. There's much yet to see, but there's no major desire to fulfill, which feels great- my expectations have already been met, and exceeded.
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Everyone has their eye on that sparkling new (insert material wonder-piece here)...but then You have those real things - the tear in the eye of a good friend when (s)he expresses concern over (blank matter). The look of amazement in a child's face when you teach
ReplyDeletehim/her how to play chop sticks... Catching your father's stare as he's smiling at your mother. Late nights in cafes with friends who know you better than yourself. Those are the moments, the people, that exceed any expectation of life. Moment's worth more than diamonds and pearls. Glad you've found these things, even miles and miles away. <3