dremedy 1

Dremedy 1

I had a baby last night. I didn't dream about the actual "having it" part. But she was sooo much a part of me. Upsetting it is, that I can't perfectly remember her face. There was this warmth I felt that I had never felt before. I held her and knew she was mine, and only in my arms she wouldn't cry. I think I've found the girl of my dreams (not just literally I mean I feel as thought if I'm every to have a child, it will be THIS child). I woke up feeling like whoever I was before didn't matter. This feeling soon subsided once the duties of my current and very real life took over, but I can still call upon that moment, and feel 100% good, and happy. It's almost impossible for me to understand how I could feel this way, for I've never had such a precious thing, nor have I ever really imagined it to that extent, just pictured it in my conscious state and felt that peaceful. Sure I think of babies and having one myself, but never saw it face to face and felt it heart to heart.

Then something terrible happened in my dream. All these noisy children came in and caused a disturbance, and I could not find her. I told my father to make a loud noise, because I figured, as the mother which I'm really not, that like a cellphone, she would respond to a call. Of course, she did but only for a few seconds, also something babies don't do. And then her voice was lost again. I felt that she had shrunk. I just felt it inside me. I found her eventually in a in a corner. I held her and she was so small she fit in my hand. I turned away and felt her escaping. A wild little creature in my hand I covered my left on top of my right and felt these little wings. Fluttering about in my hand- "This is over," I felt. And I let her go, also seeing that in trying to hold onto her I had crushed part of her wing.

My left ovary huts today.