ramble.

What makes people chug along? What's the choo- choo train inside of you?
For me it's a transparent thing, I can't sense it fully I really can't. I think why am I here? What is my purpose. Am I not just another organism like the ladybug on the windowsill? I have more right to be here than she, right? And what kind of a purpose can a ladybug have? Therefore maybe I have none either. I don't mean this to sound negative by any means. Yes, I am at a point in my life where I truly haven't found my "calling" perhaps when I find it I'll feel differently. Just saying. Sometimes when it's silent very silent only, not eve the walls speak to me, and life outside of my own mind escapes and I see absolutely nothing. This consoles me as some form of meditation, and then it leaved me bewildered by the idea that someday I won't be here. Haha, shortly after this scary feeling I run and do something, to prove myself that, hey I am here and there is purpose, there has to be.
Was also thinking today about awesome feelings like the attachement I have to old songs. Really. I here something I dunno: something you'd here in a victorian movie, a harpsicord playing, the piano in Edit Piaf's "La Foule" or Rock around the Clock, and it makes me extreamly happy because I'm there, and I get this lovely misconception that things were better in the past. What do I know I wasn't there. But it just seems wonderful. Someone please send me back in time heheee.

Movive: I love you man was pretty good. My friend kidded around with me asking, "Would've been better had Russell Brand had a part right?" Honestly, yea, but nonethe less, Jason Segal is amazing. I'd say he's even a looker, yes definately a looker. ahh, sigh. I heard him talk on NPR, and he was just so genuine, and lovely, and seemed just as excited about RBrand as me. whooot.

ok im done, ah work!